GREEN SUCKS
By: Spike –a-tiel

I am here to tell you, that from a Cockatiel’s point of view, Green Sucks!!!

“Why do you feel that way?” you ask. Well, here’s the deal:

Ever since the first Green Bird (Mom called him a Quaker) moved in, my life has never been the same. When, the second one got here, it was worse. Green birds are mouthy and dangerous. I am in fear of my toes and my very life all of the time. They never stay on their own houses and are always trying to break into my house and bite my toes and kill me.

My cousin, Mickey-tiel, came to visit, for a while. His house was right beside mine. One day they both snuck over to our houses when Mom wasn’t looking. I knew what they were up to; so I stayed right in the middle of my perch so they couldn’t reach me with those sharp beaker-peakers of theirs. But; Mickey is a city boy and not to bright about stuff either. He hung onto his cage bars and the Evil One that my Mom calls Molly B., bit his toe so hard that Mom had to cut it clean off.

One of the Green things finally went over a bridge of some kind and I thought I was safe. But; that Molly is worse than both of them were together. She is always making a racket, sneaking over to my house and sitting on my roof, threatening to kill me. My Mom tells her not to go to other people’s houses, but she doesn’t listen. She slides down her house leg like a green fireman and runs across the room and up my house leg. I am in danger every time my mom turns her back. I wish that green bird would find another home, because she makes my life miserable.

GREEN SUCKS, I TELL YA, GREEN SUCKS!!!

(Spike a-tiel is a free lance writer and when asked if he would like to add a personal bio to his article he simply replied: “I was born a rich little bird all covered with pearly spots, then some really poor lady paid $35 for me and took me home and loved me so much that my pearly colored spots fell off.”)